| |
| |
|
Grief & Loss Information |
|
|
|
Grief Support: The Dos
Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do? What should I say? Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing?" Here are some suggestions for how to best help those in grief. 1) Do give grievers the permission to grieve. You do this by your presence, understanding and acceptance of where they are. 2) Do expect volatile reactions from the bereaved. Those in grief are on an emotional roller coaster. 3) Do be "present" to the bereaved. Give the griever your full attention as they share their loss with you. It is so very meaningful to them and therapeutic as well. 4) Do view the loss from the griever's perspective. Their loss is unique and their pain is their own. You cannot know their loss without viewing it from their perspective. 5) Do maintain an appropriate emotional distance from the griever. Do not make their loss your loss. 6) Do encourage verbalization of feelings and memories of the deceased. Talking about the one who died is therapeutic for those suffering grief. It helps them process their loss and begin to formulate perspective. 7) Do help the bereaved recognize and accept the loss. 8) Do listen non-judgmentally and with acceptance. 9) Do allow the grieved to cry, talk, and review without interruption. 10) Do help the griever with normative data about the grief process. Assure the grieved that they are not "crazy" and that what they are experiencing is all a part of the grief process. 11) Do help the griever with practical responsibilities (grocery shopping, take the children for a couple of hours, drive to the bank, make phone calls, etc.). 12) Do help the griever understand the need to develop a new relationship with the deceased. 13) Do be informed about grief and providing gentle compassionate care. 14) Do be helpful and keep in touch. 15) Do encourage healing. 16) Do encourage counseling if behaviors appear pathological or extreme. 17) Do be aware that weekends, holidays and evenings may be more difficult for the bereaved. 18) Do help the bereaved avoid unrealistic expectations as to how they "should" feel and when they will be better. It is helpful when appropriate to say, "I don't know how you are able to do as well as you are." 19) Do ask griever to accompany you on some outing or engage in some activities with you (at appropriate time of course). 20) Do encourage grievers to participate in support groups. Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. http://www.clergyservices4u.org She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: A Grief Healing Workbook, will be available soon.
MORE RESOURCES:
Grief-Loss - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Angelo Dies Angelo C, was a good man that never did any harm. He died yesterday in the shower over a severe asthma attack. Sympathy Messages The loss of a loved one. It is often difficult to find the right words to express your sympathy to someone during this time of sorrow. An Unexpected Letter It was a couple of weeks after Christmas, and I was standing by my mailbox in the vestibule of the apartment building where I lived in Lexington, Kentucky, holding a letter I had just received. The handwriting was not familiar and neither was the return address, although it was postmarked Seattle, Washington, the same place where Hannah Paulson used to live. Euthanasia: How Will I Know When its Time? Pippin needed assistance from his owner to get to his feet. He slowly walked to the door, then needed help once again to step down onto the back porch. One Womans Way of Dealing With Grief All of us at one time or another have felt grief: perhaps over a lost job, lost love, or the most heartbreaking, the death of someone we loved dearly. Each of us goes about the task of grieving in our own distinct way. When Sorrow Is Too Great to Be Borne Alone, Support Groups Reach Out Not long after Arlyn died, my husband and I decided to attend a support group program run by the local Hospice organization. We felt lost, afraid, and alone, and we desperately needed to understand the emotional roller coaster we were on. After Suicide: Returning to Life, Thanks to an Owl Have you ever lost the ability to laugh? I did.When Arlyn died, I knew I would never laugh again. Suicide in the Church Part 2 In a town the size of mine - about 16,000 - can a few suicides within a 90-day period be considered an epidemic? I'd say so. Quite a few Christians have contacted me since these tragedies have occurred, people struggling with the in's and out's of suicide and its effect on one's eternal reward, among other concerns. A Critical Assessment of Euthanasia The question of whether, say, a man should have the right to take away his life granted pain and suffering have overcome him is a very important question today. A different way of putting this question is this: 'Should a man have the right to take away his life if he ceases to function as a human being?' This matter would have been laid to rest had it not been that it strikes at the heart of law, key matters of health, and morality. Understanding Grief and Loss in Times of War and Disaster There are many different kinds of losses we can experience in our lives. Indeed, loss in human beings has its beginnings in the birth process that separates the infant from the comfort and security of the mother's womb into a world where survival is conditional and predicated on individual responsibility. Death Poem During the two years of my husband's terminal illness, death was never far from my mind. We had been told he was dying and even a time in which it was supposed to happen. Is Death Really the End or the Window to A New Beginning? Earlier this month I learned a dear friend had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She has been given less than six months to live as the cancer has fully permeated her liver and pancreas. And You Always Will I opened the dishtowel drawer for about the sixth time, hoping the towels had somehow magically appeared.The brand new towels still weren't there, of course. The Walking Wounded When my phone rang the other day, it was a call from one of the "walking wounded," not unlike many that I have received during the years I have been interacting with the bereaved. I have often spoken with people who are feeling much like this caller was. Handicapped From Suicide I am 23 years old. I come from a large family. The Truth About Emotional Intelligence There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days that it appears that people are suppressing their emotions and problems in an effort to "fit in," to keep their jobs, and using "positive self-talk" to muscle through the rough spots in their lives.Recently, I had a friend over who has suffered enormous job stress during a time when his wife's father was dying of cancer. How Long Does It Take to Mend a Broken Heart? Julian Austin, Canadian country singer, released a song called Should Be Over You. He sings, How long does it take to mend a broken heart? After the heartache and tears, lonely and hurting, one night stands and drinking ain't working, and missing you has near killed me a time or two, then after that I should be over you. The Look of Grief Never, since man has walked upright, have people all over the globe had more educational advantages or more opportunities to practice advanced social and interpersonal skills. And yet, for the most part, we still have not learned to look past the obvious, to see beyond the exterior shell of our fellow man, and to discover the worth of the real person. You Can Help A Grieving Heart Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and if cherry cough syrup tastes better to kids than orange. We can recommend preschools and sneakers. How to Turn Grief into Joy I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me, I was with my daddy when his spirit left his body.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |