| |
| |
|
Marriage & Wedding Information |
|
|
|
Infidelity: How "My Marriage Made Me Do It" is a Cop-out
Ask someone why they had, or are having an affair and you may hear something like this: "I have a lousy marriage. My marriage is dead. There is no intimacy, no sex, and no excitement. The love is gone. We've grown apart. I can't stand the marriage. There was nothing happening in the marriage and the affair just happened." These statements are rationalizations and fail to "get at" the underlying issues. Key points: 1. It's as if a marriage is an animal gone bad. A marriage does not have a life of it's own. In reality, there is no such thing as a "marriage." One is "married" as a result of making some promises and signing a paper at one point. After the paper is signed, two people continue communicating and acting toward one another in particular ways that they hope will help them get what they individually want. Just as there is no "marriage," there is no such thing as a "relationship." There are, however, ways of relating for which each person is responsible. Remember the comedian Flip Wilson (that dates me) and his "The devil made me do it" skit? 2. We idealize "marriage" or "romantic relationships" with the expectation we will get what we want, without much effort to boot. The movies, popular public press and romance novels/stories don't help much here. A "marriage" is behind the eight ball from the word go. "IT" can't win. 3. From day one most of us don't have a clue about how to get, build, nurture and maintain healthy and intimate ways of relating. We need 'love 101' and it's not there. We rely upon experimentation or bad models. 4. If the "marriage" is dead, why in the world would one choose to have an affair? Talk about jumping from the frying pan into the fire. It really is stupid. You add a whole layer of deceit and shame that eventually will result in consequences more dire than approaching your spouse and saying, "I'm really unhappy. What I'm doing with you obviously is not working. I want out." Oh well, maybe some people need more problems and suffering. 5. If the "marriage" is bad, obviously, I don't have to look at me. I can blame "it" or the other. Some of us find it difficult to look at me. Some of us don't know how to look at me. Some of us never think of looking at me. Tip: If your partner/spouse is having and affair and blames it on the "marriage," don't buy into it. The "marriage" is not the problem. You are not the problem. Your spouse/partner chose the affair out of ignorance, fear or inadequacy. The "My Marriage Made Me Do It" is just one of 7 affairs outlined in my E-book, "Break Free From the Affair." For more information on the issues behind the other kinds of affairs and tips for dealing with them, go to: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/cmd.php?ad=139627
MORE RESOURCES:
Marriage-Wedding - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Wedding Dresses - Why They Are White and Other Wedding Lore Brides have always worn white, right? Not so. In ancient times brides wore bright colored wedding dresses to signify their joy. Wedding Preparations - Tips To Get You to The Church On Time For many brides, the wedding ceremony starts long before they walk down the aisle to stand beside their groom at the alter. For many, it is the preparation that they have dreamed about for so long. The Reality of Arranged Marriages Arranged marriages have been a topic of interest for centuries. Authors across the ages have explored this theme at length, and it still surfaces in literary works today. Conquer the Five Most Common Fears About Your Wedding Ceremony It's safe to say that of all the important events in your lifetime, your wedding day is certain to be right up there with those that are the most meaningful. And throughout the entire wedding day - the preparations, the ceremony, the reception, and the wedding night - the moment when you recite your wedding vows to each other is the most meaningful. The High Cost of Resentment and Anger in Marriage Many spouses carry heavy suitcases filled with a collection of anger and resentment from their marriage. Periodically, they unpack these suitcases and review every situation in which they feel they were treated unfairly. Unique Wedding Reception Entertainment The typical wedding reception entertainment scheme of pretty flowers and background music is fine for some people, but all kinds of options exist to spice it up a bit and provide a celebration that everyone is sure to remember for years to come.Before planning any of the following wedding reception entertainment ideas, please take this short bit of advice: discuss it first. For Second Weddings Only - Eight Tips Planning a second wedding? Prevent favorite guests comparing your second wedding, to the first wedding. It isn't tricky but it will take some thought. Is Conflict Healthy in Marriage? Today my three-year-old daughter told my husband that she wants to be married. When he asked her why, she replied, "Because you get to be nice to one another". Wedding Cake Design Through History The design of the traditional wedding cake has varied greatly over time. Once a sign of fertility, the wedding cake of the Roman Empire was made of wheat or Barley. Jewish Wedding Rings - Traditions and Customs and How to Buy Smart In a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony, Jewish wedding rings play a very important role. In Jewish law, a verbal declaration is not enough to be married. Choosing the Perfect Wedding Ring Traditionally, a wedding band was worn on the ring finger of the left hand because it was believed that the vein in that finger went straight to the heart. A wedding ring is a piece of jewelry which will be worn everyday of your life to signify your love and fidelity to your significant other. Titanium Mens Wedding Rings - The Contemporary Look for the Modern Man The wearing of a man wedding ring is a relatively modern phenomenon. So is the use of Titanium in Titanium mens rings. Wedding Flowers The selection process of your wedding flowers will usually begin with a discussion of the Bride's bouquet. You will have a choice of several basic styles. The History of the White Wedding Dress As a youngster -- or perhaps even as an adult -- have you ever sat dreamily imagining yourself in a fairytale wedding dress, about to marry your very own Prince Charming? And, what colour is the wedding dress? The chances are it's a white one. Millions of girls and women that dream of the perfect marriage have a vision of the perfect white wedding dress in their minds. Moissanite Engagement Rings - Find The Perfect Glam You're Looking For Wish to make that one day in your life really special? Let moissanite engagement rings work their charm. Affirm your commitment through the beauty of moissanite engagement rings. Caricature Entertainment: A Surefire Way to Liven Up Your Wedding Celebration Caricature entertainment will make your wedding celebration stand out and be remembered.If you've never seen caricatures drawn at an event, you'll be amazed when you see how popular they are with guests. Five Ideas for a More Romantic Honeymoon Candles, rose petals, satin, succulent foods, perfume-you're probably already familiar with all of these time-honored ingredients for creating a romantic mood on your honeymoon. But candles, rose petals, and other sensual ingredients only go so far. Bora Bora Honeymoon Vacations Poets, sailors, honeymooners and other romantics have officially declared this island to be the most enchanting, breath-taking, romantic and unique place on earth. This is because Bora Bora honeymoon vacations are all about relaxing and enjoying secluded moments with a loved one on a utopian island with its warm waters, gentle climate and dramatic beauty. Wedding Dresses - How to Select the Best One for You Every bride would agree that her wedding dress should be perfect - not only does she want to look her best, on her special day, but her wedding dress also is the center of everybody's attention. But how would you select the best one for you? Here is advice about selecting the best dress for your wedding. The "EX" Factor: Why Men and Women Over 50 Don't Remarry! Thinking about remarrying? Consider these reasons why others have chosen not to. One out of two marriages ends in divorce.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
