| |
| |
|
Motivation Information |
|
|
|
Hurry Up And Procrastinate
I've been meaning to write this column, but I keep putting it off. There always seems to be something better or more important or easier to write about. Everybody is rushing to enter the contest to find America's Biggest Procrastinator ( http://www.AmericasBiggestProcrastinator.com ). As an expert in the field, I will help you win the contest. Even if you are not American, just tell them you you've been meaning to immigrate. That should actually win you some bonus points. America is just teeming with procrastinators. Some delay important surgery. Some people hold off on taking courses or changing jobs. Others delay household chores. Americans delay cleaning up and filing. They put off buying a car, washing the car, selling the car, and even learning to drive the car. Some even hold off on getting born (That was me. Sorry Mom.). If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. And many Americans have even eliminated that pesky last minute. Dr. Duit Later explains, "It's a lifestyle choice. A professional procrastinator delays walking the dog until the last minute. By then he is busy holding off the lawn mowing. He'll never get to the mowing, even in the last minute, because he spends that last minute not cleaning up after the dog. With so much to delay, the last minute never arrives." One contestant bought over $15,000.00 of software in the past two years "to help me with my computer,80% of it is still unopened and or unused." It might help if he started by removing the computer from its packaging. Another contestant describes how "we go to our Wal-Mart bags to find what we need because we never put them away." I laughed at that one. I thought that was pretty funny. Ha ha ha. My wife was not laughing. She pointed to the Costco boxes piled high beside the door. "But those aren't Wal-Mart bags," I protested with all the conviction of a soggy noodle. My wife opened the fridge door. "We have soggy noodles. And soggy buns. And soggy apples. We have a soggy collection. Think it might be time to clean the fridge?" Sigh. Master procrastinators are rarely appreciated. Procrastination has some interesting side effects. A professional procrastinator always marvels at how clean the restrooms are at service stations. A true procrastinator never gets his Christmas tree up before Christmas. Unless it's still there from last year, of course. A skilled procrastinator always reads her mail - but only after the postman comes up to her apartment to complain. One contestant finally emptied her mailbox to find mail from six months earlier. A determined procrastinator goes several years without pouring his own bathwater or putting out his own garbage. After a while, the community gets involved. No true procrastinator shovels snow. The snow will hopefully melt in a few months. Even with talented contestants, you can win this contest if you don't try hard enough. I thought about entering the contest myself. I delayed college graduation by several years. I have a dozen jigsaw puzzles still sealed in their boxes. We have two chandeliers to put up...someday. The baby probably needs a diaper change. Again. Or still. I was just about to enter the contest, when I came up with an ingenious way to disqualify myself. I offered to put up part of the second prize, a copy of my book Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness. http://thehappyguy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html . With me out of the race, this might finally be the contest you can win. You see, I know a little secret about all the contestants - a fatal flaw that makes every one of them vulnerable. Nobody can legitimately win this year's contest ...unless they enter next year. Technical notes: To make this column on procrastination authentic, I attempted to withhold it. But my agent gave me "The Frown". If you ever saw The Frown, your boots would still be trembling. So I decided to submit the column uncompleted. Surely that qualifies as procrastination. But this time my agent gave me "The Double Frown". That sent shivers down through my toenails. I considered sending my column in one word at a time, with each letter cut from a newspaper or magazine like a painfully long ransom note. But my agent told me about her emergency "death ray" frown, so I gave up. But wait! You can make this true procrastination by not reading any more until next year. Stop reading. If you are still reading, you are failing to procrastinate. Stop now. If you are not reading this sentence, congratulations - you are a champion procrastinator. About The Author David Leonhardt writes the Happy Guy humor column: http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html and A Daily Dose of Happiness: http://www.thehappyguy.com/daily-happiness-free-ezine.html. He also wrote Inspiration & Motivation To Go: http://www.thehappyguy.com/l/daily-motivation-inspiration.php and The Get Happy Workbook: http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-workbook.html
MORE RESOURCES:
Motivation - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Motivation: The Power of Asking Very shortly, in this paragraph, I'm going to share with you how to get just about anything you want. I usually try to keep things very simple and useable. Two Months, Two Actions: First Steps to Success Susan stood on the scale the other day. She had gained two pounds. Mountain-Moving Momentum It can be challenging to think about going to the next level. Especially when you're completely overwhelmed by the thought of taking the next step. The Untold Truth About Mentors, and Why You DONT Need One I think there is a misconception about what a mentor truly is. A mentor is someone who guides you, someone wise, someone you trust. It Is Up To You One of the first things successful people realize is the old adage, "if it is to be, it is up to me." That is, for you, the fact that your success and your course is up to you. 4 Qualities of Highly Successful People What if you can be, do or have anything you want, what would you desire in your life?Now do you believe it can happen? Yes? No? In the words of Henry Ford, "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right."Well then what actually happens for those people who do seem to get everything they desire?Let's take a closer look. Making the Most of Now "You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. Fear Emotions - Positive or Negative? What is fear's purpose? How do you handle it? While I am working in my pest control business, I meet people on an almost daily basis who are influenced by negative fear thoughts regarding pests invading their premises. A good size spider, rat, or unexpected insect can set someone off pretty quickly, and literally immobilize them. How Mind Implants Increase Business Success If your business isn't as successful as you envision, what's holding you back? You might say it's a lack of capital, a lack ofemployees, a lack of *great* employees, a lack of time, a lack ofinventory, a lack of .. Move On! I woke up one morning with a sharp pain in my ear. The last time I had an earache was some eighteen years ago. 10 Common Money And Success Myths - Part 2 Here are a few commonly held beliefs, or "myths," that hold many of us back from achieving success.. Fear As you prepare to take your first steps, could there possibly be something holding you back?Maybe you have heard the phrase, "false evidence appearing real." It is a common acronym made from the one word that can and will stand in your path to success. Make It Happen Now! Most people think that when they have chosen a path that's it - that's the path to follow. This is far from the truth according to leading Business Coach? Brad Tonini who has just released his latest book "Make It Happen Now!"I asked Brad to share his thoughts on why we don't get started to "Making Things Happen". Making Things Happen We are all given the tools, but it is up to us what we decide to build and how magnificent it will be.Steven FerrelGoals are fantastic to have, but many times challenges surface that make it difficult for a goal to mature. Hello! It Is Opportunity Calling! If I knock at your door hold your hand take you towards the road to fortune would you come? If I tell you that I can guide you and point to you where the wealth lies, would you go?In theory each one of us would answer why not! Of course!But in reality things seem to be different.It has been seen that even while on road to wealth people are resistant to walk. How Breaking Routine And Unexpected Acts of Kindness Can Energize Your Day! Sometimes life becomes so routine, we don't have to think about a thing we're doing throughout the day. We're programmed to run on automatic. Stick With the Winners Here is an interesting quotation from Stephen Walsh."We're building up and tearing down, in everything we do. That First Step To Massive Success Do you ever procrastinate? So do I!I had some work to do yesterday and I kept putting it off.I thought to my self - I´ll wait until later when I feel more alert and in the right frame of mind to do it just rightDo you ever do this?Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. The Top Five Great Reasons to Delay Pursuing Your Dream 1.2. At A Dead End? Look Deeply Into My Eyes! The president of a large North Eastern company, doing business internationally, was visiting his California division. While he was there, he saw a very large photograph of, of all people, himself, hanging on the wall.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
