| |
| |
|
Motivation Information |
|
|
|
Can One Person Increase Motivation in Another Person?
The answer is yes, of course, right? People motivate other people. After all, what about coaches and inspirational speakers? They are paid to motivate other people to do great things. But ask the parent who would like to see a better report card, the boss who is sure to catch several employees off task at any give time, or the spouse who hates picking up someone else's dirty laundry from the bathroom floor and you will hear that motivating others is IMPOSSIBLE! Consider the two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic: Intrinsic motivation originates from within the individual. It is a very powerful source of motivation. Intrinsic motivation is behind all of our attempts to learn and master new skills from our very birth. An infant will reach out and grasp a finger. Next comes walking, talking, riding a bike, all the things children are anxious to accomplish. Extrinsic motivators are the rewards and punishments that come from the outside world. Play video games instead of doing homework, suffer embarrassment in class the next day. Earn a trophy for first place in a competition for high performance, win the admiration of others. There is one important fact about extrinsic motivators however, they are short-term fixes only. The desired behavior will probably disappear when the threat is gone (or forgotten) or the promise has either been delivered or denied. Instead of relying on extrinsic motivators when attempting to get people to behave in ways that you think are reasonable, foster the factors that nurture those powerful intrinsic motivators. What are the intrinsic motivators? ? Success and pride of accomplishment ? An understanding of the importance in applying the desired behavior That's a pretty short and easy list. So how do you go about adding sunshine, water and nutrients to these natural seeds of personal growth? Here is the method: ? Set goals ? Assign responsibility ? Recognize progress ? Develop empathy ? Create a conducive environment ? Contribute to positive health habits SET GOALS 1) Decide. 2) Create an affirmative statement. 3) Write it down. 4) Be clear about your reasons for wanting it. 5) Set a date for accomplishing the goal. Read any motivational book and, when the subject of goal setting comes up, you will always see this formula. The obvious reason? It is effective! Have a family meeting and present some ideas on making progress in areas of importance. Now create a statement that expresses the desired goal in an affirmative manner. (To state a goal in the affirmative, you say it as if it is already accomplished.) If you want to spend less time watching television and more time on responsibilities, projects and hobbies, you can say, "Our family devotes one hour each evening for taking care of responsibilities and spending creative time on hobbies and projects". Now commit the goal to paper. Why do you have to write it down? The writing process involves more motor skills and imprints the idea more clearly on the brain. Next step is to assign relevancy to the goal. "Better use of our time will reduce stress for the entire family. We can use the extra time to take care of some chores that usually end up getting rushed, such as picking out clothes to wear the next day, or fixing lunches." Then pin a date on the accomplishment, "We will start on Monday and meet again Saturday to talk about the different ways we used our extra time". ASSIGN RESPONSIBILITY There are some very important rules to follow when delegating responsibility in a way that fosters intrinsic motivation rather than relying on extrinsic rewards or punishments. ? Allow for choice ? Allow for individual styles ? Allow for a learning curve In our goal of spending less time in the evening in front of the television and more time reducing stress and pursuing creative endeavors, we can apply these allowances. Obviously, each person would be responsible for picking out tomorrow's clothes, but other duties can be handed around. Make a list of other jobs that could be shared by everyone and then work out a fair plan of accomplishment. Remember the secret of presenting" yes" or "yes" options. "Danny, do you want your day to clean the bathroom to be Wednesday or Friday?" "Would you rather make sandwiches or fold the laundry?" Once a job is delegated it now belongs to the responsible person. No breathing down necks, or coaching from the sidelines. Make sure the proper tools are available, instructions are clearly given and then walk away. If the bathroom mirror is cleaned with a mop the first time, oh well. The intrinsic goals of the individual will allow the necessary skills to develop naturally. You contribute to the learning curve by affectively applying the next step. RECOGNIZE PROGRESS Many people enjoy using charts and graphs to track progress. They can be very effective. I urge you not to rely too heavily on them, however because they tend to make us think of extrinsic rewards. "What do I get when I have a star in every square?" What works best is a thank you with a statement of worth about the action. "Thanks for picking up the living room. It puts me in such a good mood to live in a neat home." (Remember the two intrinsic motivators, pride and importance of action?) Or, a verbal pat on the back. "Now that your homework is done and your head is the size of a watermelon, what fun thing are you going to enjoy?" Remember to be sporadic with your compliments and praise. A compliment delivered with every action sounds insincere. Never forget the reinforcing power of a smile or a hug. DEVELOP EMPATHY Empathy is the ability to feel what another person is feeling and is the foundation of intrinsic motivator number two: an understanding of the importance in applying the desired behavior. Years of teaching elementary students gave me a clear understanding of the need to teach children empathy. From the charismatic manipulator, to the bully, to the social outcast, not being able to identify with other people's feelings can lead to problems. Talk about your feelings with each other often. Always remember, however never to assign blame to another person when expressing an emotion. Instead of saying, "You made me so mad when I was late for work because you overslept!" a better way to build empathy would be to say, "Once the clock gets past 8:20 I start getting nervous about being late for work. My stomach gets acidy and I can almost hear my boss yelling at me again. I sure would appreciate it if you would be downstairs by 8:15." You have given your reasons on many different levels of comprehension: the visual image of the clock, the physical sensation in your stomach, the sound of an angry boss. CREATE A CONDUCIVE ENVIRONMENT Above all else, model motivated behavior. That one thing in itself will motivate others beyond anything else you do. Designate your home as a caring community. "Everyone who lives here supports each other." Don't tolerate teasing or other forms of meanness in your home. Another important factor in keeping the atmosphere of your home uplifting is to limit complaining. Many of us are in the habit of coming home and letting off steam about the idiots we must face each day. That old homily, "Leave your troubles on the doorstep" should not be forgotten. Consider the effect on a child's motivation to grow up and enter the work world when he or she continuously hears the adults complaining about their jobs. CONTRIBUTE TO POSTIVE HEALTH HABITSEat right, drink lots of water and get plenty of exercise. When you feel good physically, it is so much easier to be enthusiastic and cheerful! Use one of your self-improvement evenings each week to take a walk outside. Wear your intelligent caps while you are on your walk and talk with each other about the things you encounter. I'll bet you can teach each other a lot. Have an energy snack available when you are working or creating at home. Slice fruit and cheese and serve with a fortified, whole grain cracker. You are supplying vitamins, calcium and fiber. One of best fibers for the digestive system is the pectin found in apples. Float apple slices in ice water with a spritz of lemon juice and they won't turn brown. CONCLUSION The final word is consistency. If you are determined to reach your goals, follow through. So, good luck! Apply these concepts and you will have a happier, healthier family! Jean Fisher is a former elementary teacher who with her partner, Pam Pour, offer solutions for busy families. "What's For Dinner?" is a free service that suggests one delicious meal seven days a week, provides you with an organized shopping list that can be customized to include all your shopping needs, plus two stimulating table topics and one educational after-dinner activity for each day. As one happy visitor commented, "It's everything you need all in one place!" Come see for yourself, there is no registration required. http://www.whatsfordinner.net
MORE RESOURCES:
Motivation - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Motivation: The Power of Opportunity I think each one of us has had the experience of coming up with a great idea for a product or a way to do something, only to see someone else do it and make a ton of money.Here's mine - A few years back I went through advanced training in hypnosis. The Simple Life When we talk about a Simple Life, we are not talking about Paris and Nicole. We are talking about a life that is in harmony with our values. 7 Hot Tips For Self Improvement Part 2 Self Improvement Tip 4 Don't procrastinate! The more you put something off and something else off, the more all your undesirable chores pile up.Until they're an insurmountable task that would make a paid cleaning crew shudder. Procrastination Strategies: Boost Your Productivity by Getting On With It We all suffer from procrastination from time to time but rather than fight it, think of procrastination as a gift. This gift allows you to get clarity on what is important to you and what you should work on next. Learn to Do What Winners Do But Others Will Not If you want to be a winner you have to be prepared to develop a certain personal trait which others will not.Are you prepared to do more to receive more? Or are you like most people who want consistently to do less and less, yet are mistakenly expecting more in return. Lights, Camera, Take Action Have you ever had a great business idea?Did you focus & plan out the business in your mind and then write it down on paper?Of course you did "Take Action"? Right?Well most of us have great ideas or talents that we can share with the rest of the world but never do. WHY???Think about how many Jobs you could have created and how many people you could have helped with your idea or business. Violating Boundaries: Assert Yourself and Take Charge "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin FranklinAre you sick and tired of being treated like a doormat and having people walk all over you? If you answered yes, read on. Its Never Too Late To Start Many people never start anything because they think the bus has left them standing at the station.They think it's too late for them to jump in the game. The Simple Secret To Lasting Motivation This is a key to lasting motivation and beating procrastination.If you have friends who are highly driven business people, spend time with them whenever you want a motivational boost. Ever Feel Like Your Elevator Is Stuck Between Floors? What do you do when you make a big mistake? When you fail? When you suffer defeat? When everything just goes wrong? When serious misunderstandings develop with others? When it appears like there is no way out? When solutions to your problems just seem impossible?A Familiar Location; The Bottomless Pit!What do you do; do you do nothing and allow the circumstances to push you around? Do you blow your stack? Do you bite the hand that feeds you? Do you become fearful and run away? Do you get your knickers all in a twist? Do you ever feel like your elevator is just stuck between floors?Or, do you grab the bull by the horns and flatten him like a pancake? Do you turn bad circumstances into advantages just for the sheer joy of it? Do you look at every problem with faith and optimism knowing that positive results can and will be found?Time To Grind It Out!Well, I tell you this; if you are the kind of person that always looks for that kind of satisfaction, then you are busier than a one legged man in a bu** kicking contest. But, you knew that quite well. Ten Terrific Self Motivating Tips No one can motivate anyone to do anything. All a person can do for another is provide them with incentives to motivate themselves. Limitations Real Or Imagined, Stick Em In A Pigs Eye! It's about time to take a real hard look at what you think about yourself. What do you really think you're capable of? What if I told you that you could walk on water? Would you believe me? Well, what if I told you that you could never be an important person? What would you say to that?Against All Hope!What you are capable of doing first and foremost rests with what's between your ears. 7 Tips to Keep up Your New Year Resolutions There are many people who enthusiastically make their New Year Resolutions with a fond hope that they will stick to them and thus make changes in their life for the better.But they will soon find that they cannot keep up thoseresolutions and are back to their old life. Discover the Hidden Power of Self Motivation Many studies have been done to research the effects of motivationand mental health. As the implications of helping those withnegative self-esteem, depression and anxiety are immense this iscertainly an area of research that deserves a great deal ofattention. The Toughest Decision of All: Get Out or Get Going! Many of us are influenced by the sports ethic: Never give up! When a basketball team is down by 20 with 30 seconds on the clock, the players never stop working. Spectators might be filing out, and the winning team might be deep into the bench, but the game goes on. The Best Day Of My Life Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever!There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did! And because I did, I'm going to celebrate! Today, I'm going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.I will go through this day with my head held high and a happy heart. Hurry Up And Procrastinate I've been meaning to write this column, but I keep putting it off. There always seems to be something better or more important or easier to write about. Is Your Passion Fizzling Out? Starting a business or project is one thing, keeping it running successfully is another issue.Do you recall the initial enthusiasm, drive and passion you had, when you were working on setting up your business or project?You spent countless hours working on it, researching about it, making calls to people whose assistance you required, dreamed about it and even told everyone who could listen about it?do you recall that passion?You had the commitment, determination and the passion to make it happen. Ability, Motivation, and Attitude "Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Three Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself Today! Are you having a hard time getting things done? Are you making no steps toward achieving your goals and dreams? Could you use a little "motivation"?Here are three easy things that will help you get there one day at a time.1-Review your Goals first thing in the morning.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
